I may or may not be putting wedding planning on the back burner. Although we still have “plenty” of time, I realize(more than anyone) how quickly time will pass. Over the weekend I spent some Q.T. with my soon-to-be in laws where we started off antique hunting and veered off for wine and whiskey tasting on the eastern part of Long Island. Matt, was hard at work finishing his parents’ deck before the bitter barring Winter hits.
While chatting about wedding things, my soon to be sister-in-law blurted out “You better get your ass moving” and you know what, she’s absolutely right! I have all of these ideas and things I want to do in my head, but have yet to put them in action.
While we were in Long Island, I was given a book of articles Matt's grandmother wrote for her local newspaper in PA. This 86 year old firecracker is tech savvy, up to date with the latest Hollywood buzz, and will surely keep you on your toes!
While reading some of her articles I realized “life after retirement” and the “Senior Scene” have more similarities than you’d think. She writes about fighting for her husbands attention, because their cat gets it all which sounds familiar(thanks Lincoln). How they dealt with new changes in their marriage, friendship, business, and a home. She touches on how to be a good Mother-in-law, how she tries to refrains from interfering with her daughter/son-in-laws choices. Although she may have to bite her tongue more than she wants to, she is determined to be a successful mother-in-law/ daughter-in-law. “Tis far better to bite your tongue than your toes”
This subject, although touchy at times, is something that we ALL will have to deal with. Marrying into a family you have certain expectations. Women are expected to cook, clean, and take care of their new husband just as their mother did. Diane, I love you more than you know, so when your son complains about his biweekly deadly disease that he has caught, from some foreign or non existent parasite, I'm sending him to you! With all kidding aside, I am very lucky, my in laws welcome me with open arms. I truly feel comfortable telling them my honest opinion and I hope they feel the same
I have become more accepting to different traditions, foods and entertaining rituals. I (just like grandma) bite my tongue if needed and know when to put my opinion in or when I’m stepping on others toes. We have come up with great compromises for sharing holidays, visits, vacations, birthdays, and will continue to face situations, especially this year, where opinions are likely to clash.
Although there is no manual for the “perfect” in-law I can wholeheartedly say I am lucky.
Diane, Matts beautiful mother, is the most caring person in the world. You can do no wrong in her eyes, she will help and take in any living being (human or animal). When Eminem's Marshall Mathers album came out she said “He just needs a mom, I’ll take him in”.
Alan, his father, has the same sick humor as Tiger and treats me like one of his daughters. Although I adore his entire family there is something special and different with our relationship. Yes, I am the lucky one in this situation, they get to deal with me! The bossy, loud, sloppy daughter-in-law. I take over Diane's kitchen, leave them with my dog, drink her wine, and sometimes, complain about her son. BUT, I will always cook a good meal! Matt has a wonderful, funny, and witty family that I am lucky to be a part of. They have been dealt some crappy hands, but have shown us(me especially) that no matter what God throws at you, you can get through it together.
As a Daughter-in-law, you need to give the utmost respect to his parents, they raised him to be the person he is. REMEMBER, her son will always be her little boy, and you will NEVER replace his mom, or her pork chops.
-Ash
