Whats Old is New?…

What is a modern bride? What is so different between our parents/grandparents weddings and weddings today?  Is it that we spend more money? The personal details?  Trendy attire? Pintrest?

While reading through wedding magazines and bridal blogs, all I see is "Today's modern bride", "New wedding rules", “New cakes, fashion, decor and gift ideas.”  It really got me thinking…

Editorials ads, magazines, and wedding planning websites make it easier to collect ideas, search vendors, and create an inspiration board.  But when it comes down to the actual wedding, what makes it new?

A wedding is defined as a marriage ceremony; a ceremony in which two people get married.

When you break it down, after a year plus of planning, decor, makeup, dresses, flowers and spending money, you're "new" wedding is nothing but a wonderful, amazing memory… While pondering how creative and different I would like our wedding to be, I realized, it didn’t matter.

What you really remember, are the people you shared it with. We all have them, the dreaded distant family members, cousins you haven’t seen in years or the people you have never met. Every bride will be faced with this issue. I have a very blunt, but true belief about it (sorry if I offend anyone).

Matt and I are very “real” people. We do not hide behind the “perfect” relationship curtain, or brag to people about how in love we are.  We are getting married for us, to celebrate our love, and our forever future together. Yeah Matt that’s right, FOR-EV-ER (Sandlot voice).   We want to share that day with people who know us, who know what we have been through, and will continue to show support.

As we were making our mile long guest list, I realized our “maybe” list had many people on it who have impacted my life more than others on the “invite” list.

The majority of people on this list are the lovely, beautiful, pants-peeing M.O.M’s Group (Donna’s friends. Here’s your shout out ladies).  Many of these women I have known since I was 6 or 7 years old. They watched me grow up, play soccer, get into trouble, graduate college, move to NY and actually be able to pay all of my bills, alone.  They support my mom, and my mom supports them. This rare crowd (rare, being kind) has been a part of my life more than others I HAVE to invite. Their continuous encouragement, drinking ways are nothing short of LOVE.  I’m forced to invite others who have no idea about my life, my relationship, and who I am instead of these women?

A wedding is a celebration of a couple's commitment to one another. It’s a time for your friends and family to party, bless you're new “life”, share their happiness and support. If you're inviting people who do not know you, why are they there? If you're second guessing if you are one of those people, then….

I get it, and to avoid offending anyone, my entire family will be invited. I just wanted to share the truth, the real, and the honest. Again, this blog is not about all of the happy times, the venue band or all of the crazy things Tiger does. It’s about WHAT REALLY HAPPENS BEFORE I DO, situations I am faced with during this amazing time in my life.

So, back to what makes a modern bride. I really got to thinking, what would make my wedding “new”?  I have the venue, a band and that’s about it. God, that’s scary. What if I don’t want to be new? What if I want my wedding to be traditional?  What can I do to make our guest leave saying, "WOW, that was an amazing time!”?

I Googled “what makes a wedding modern”. An interesting article from brides.com popped up, "75 ways to make your wedding unique" the article was 75 different decorating ideas. These ideas could pertain to any event or party, not just a wedding.

In the fashion world, trends seem to cycle every 20 years. As we saw the duchess, Kate, wore a long sleeve gown. Many people thought how amazing, different, and new. But in all reality Sarah Burton (The creative director for Alexander McQueen) recycled an 80's style. The long sleeves were not "new". I'm sure you all remember the mid 80's wedding dresses. Donna being one of those lucky brides had selves, pickups, satin, and according pleating. God, there was a lot going on. This gown actually had some qualities that I liked. The sleeves, not so much.

I don't know how to answer my own question or if I even believe there is such thing as a “new” wedding. What’s new is old, right? All I can tell you is that our wedding will be a reflection of us, what we believe, and what we want to share with those invited.

Brides to be, or now “MRS.” What do you think makes a wedding "new"?

- Ash