Always A Bridesmaid…

April 2014, I received the call. Ashley is finally engaged and after hearing the story of the non-romantic proposal, my mind went from being elated to oh fuck, very quickly. For those of you that know Ashley, you would just assume she would be an absolute bridezilla. I was dreading the next year and a half of my life because I knew it was going to be hell on earth making this wedding perfect with her.

Well, I STAND CORRECTED. I WAS WRONG (this should be enough for your wedding gift Ash). Ashley was the furthest thing from a bridezilla. She tried to make the entire process as easy on her bridesmaids as she could. She made practically everything optional; hair, nails, make-up, shoes, jewelry, and most importantly the dress. All of her bridesmaids were given a color and we just had to purchase a dress in that color, any style we wanted. She even purchased gifts for the girls attending her own bachelorette, who does that? Even at her most stressful times, she still found it in her to ask me how I was. I have friends that aren’t planning anything that don’t do that so to say I was impressed by the organization would be an understatement.

That being said, I didn’t just sit back and relax for this process either. I was with her to meet the photographer, try on dresses(for all bridesmaids), watch her try on dresses, pick the playlist for the wedding, and be her personal therapist. Planning the bridal shower and bachelorette were no small task either. Here are some tips for those future bridesmaids.

  
1. Don’t say yes if you can’t afford it-- This shit is expensive and your friend would rather you say “no” than not be able to participate or plan anything
2. Realize this isn’t your day-- it’s hers. So just do what she wants and try to make her happy
3. What goes around comes around-- If you want your bridesmaids to be good to you on your big day, return the favor and don’t be a dick
4. Start saving-- the second that ring goes on that finger, start saving your money. Engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette, rehearsal dinner, wedding, GIFTS and travel add up.

So as my final task (yeah, right), Ashley asked me to do a #WPW from a bridesmaid perspective. Would I do it again? Of course. To be able to be a part of one of the most special days of someone's life is worth it. Especially if it’s for an old friend that you couldn’t be happier for. Ash, you deserve a strong drink after this but none of it would be possible without the help of your loving family and friends. I can’t wait to celebrate this weekend but I really can’t wait until Monday when it’s all over and my hangover has subsided.

-Justine

The Real Deal...

The Real Deal….

After this last month and a half of disasters, breakdowns, planning (just to re-plan), the dress fiasco, people not listening to directions,  and DIY projects, we have made it to the home stretch! 10 DAYS.
 On August 5th, exactly one month before the wedding, I got an email from EVERY vendor we hired. It was like clock work. Hey, you have a month left, I need to know this, you owe that and oh yeah give me your left arm while you're at it. I truly feel there should be some sort of excused days off from work, kind of like maternity leave. Planning a wedding is a full time job and if you actually have a full time job you know that there is little time to get everything done. I’m not saying we need three months off, but an extra week or two would help!
 
Matt, who has little to no opinion about the wedding, has tried to help but when it comes down to it, I’m the one with the vision. Even though he did try  to help me from having a panic attack because my dress doesn't fit by  saying “Ash, you only have to wear it once” doesn't really make me feel better. But the effort is there. I feel bad for him. If he didn't think I was crazy before he sure as hell thinks it now.
Let's talk seating chart...

Any bride you talk to will say the seating chart sucked! I thought it would be a breeze. Our families get along and there are not too many people that want to kill each other. About four hours later, I realized I was wrong. What would have made the seating chart go smoother is if people knew how to read directions or answer a simple question. We all understand if you can’t make it, but god dammit just tell us. I have no interest in chasing you down to see if you are coming to the wedding. And to those of you out there who asked me about hotels last week, I love you but you are giving me serious wrinkles.

Even though I am complaining about all of this I have to say, Donna, my Mom has dealt with most of it. She's the one home, living in the house full of wedding crap, everywhere. She has done most of the crafts, sent out the invitations, fixed the favors, shopped for the gift bags, organized the responses and dealt with me. Yes, I have to answer many questions regarding the vendors and style but she's the one filtering through the little things. I may have said it before but that women deserves a honeymoon…. Alone! I will not leave out my Bridesmaids, friends, family and sister. They have contributed, planned and organized anything and everything we have asked of them to help with. Plus they planned a pretty amazing bachelorette party!

Planning a wedding has been interesting, I have learned all vendors will upsell you and tell you that you have to have the latest and greatest. Finding a venue that allows you to bring in your own booze in has been a DREAM! Be nice to your Mom, because she's going to save your ass more than once. Take time to breath, it’s just a wedding, it's just a wedding (repeating in my head hourly) and remember what a wedding is really about! Love!
The day is about family and friends coming together to celebrate a long life of love and happiness. It might cost you more than you have ever imagined and you may pull your hair out, but when the day comes there is no turning back so you might as well enjoy it as much as you can. So… for everyone's safety and my well being PLEASE PRAY for GOOD WEATHER!
 
 -Ash

Flower Crowns, Family and Love ....

This month has been an absolute world wind. Between work, weddings, traveling, my dog, and feeding Matt, I have been out straight. But, this month also had one of the most memorable events in my life, my bridal shower.

I am truly humbled and lucky to have such amazing friends and family.

My friends, sister, mother, and mother –in-law went above and beyond to make this happen. From the decorations to my flower crown (that I specifically asked for and picked out) was perfect!

Throughout this wedding planning process I have thought a lot about my support system, family, and friends. Moving to NY almost four years ago, has not been easy. There has been, and will be, a lot of challenges due to the distance between my family and I. Often times I feel left out, disconnected, or non-supportive. But after seeing everyone show their support for my “new family” I knew I wasn’t.  I knew that no matter where I lived or what happened they would be there for me.

To start off the weekend my mother in law, Diane, and her girlfriends, AKA, Matt’s aunts, came up early. We had a great time making the favors, eating and of course enjoying some cocktails.  I know I have said it before but, I am truly lucky to have the Stamblers. They’re welcoming, kind , loving and treat me as one of their own.

The morning of the shower my friends and bridesmaids came over to try on their dresses! It was crazy to see all of this planning finally start to coming together. They quickly packed the cars and went to the restaurant to set up. I hung back with Donna until they were ready for us.

To be honest I barely remember the décor, flowers or the food. All I remember was the amount of people. I still can’t believe how lucky I am. The girls did an amazing job setting up the games, tables, and pictures. There were people there who traveled hours, put aside other obligations and one who was less than a week away from her own wedding in Long island to come.

Okay, I got some of the sobby stuff out, let me tell you about bridezilla.

Tiger, Aka bridezilla, conveniently drove by on his boat only 15 minutes after I arrived to the shower. He and the boys spent the day on the water and drove by the marina just in time. This was planned. It was no surprise that he wanted some of the attention.

About an hour later, the boys came to the party. To be honest, they were in good shape. I know how dangerous beers can get on the “good-n-you”.

Without any time to spare Tiger saw my flower crown and wanted one of his own, again not surprised.  The “moms club” came to the rescue, making him an amazing crown, which he never took off.

Although I make jokes about my dad, he is truly my best friend. We have a different relationship than most, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. His humor is the only thing getting us through this, because without it we would be a sobbing mess.  I know nothing will change, but he feels like he’s losing a limb. We can’t even get through a conversation about the wedding never mind the song we are dancing to.

I am no help, I get emotional with anything ….sentimental?  At the shower I was a bag of tears. My bridesmaids and my sister all made me something.  Something I will use, and decorate my forever home with, and to me it will eternally bring love and happiness.  My college friends gave the gift of travel, lying, to get in contact with our travel agent to set up private tours on our honeymoon. These memories we will cherish for a lifetime. My mother who deserves her own honeymoon, made some of the most amazing and special gifts I could have ever asked for. Taking the sleeve of her wedding dress to make me a bag… a very big bag. On top of giving me something new, something borrowed and something blue.

EVERYONES gifts were truly amazing! I got so many special things, meaningful cards and above all love. I cannot thank everyone enough for coming and showing your support for Matt and I. We are spoiled with love, and will forever be grateful to have all of you.

Up next…. Finalizing all of our plans, flowers, hair, dress, outfits and ceremony.  T-38 days!

-Ash

 

Brides Beware!!!!

With less than two months until the big day I am beginning to get a little stressed. There are so many little details and decisions that need to be made. For example, ceremony programs and layout, inclimate weather alternatives, welcome bags for the hotels, gifts, cocktail choices, guest book styles, picture locations, finalizing centerpieces and flower arrangements, music, hair, make-up… You get the idea.

While writing this post I asked myself, what do I want to share, and what is the reason for this blog?

The answer: to tell people what REALLY happens before I do. It may not be pretty, but it’s true and over the last two or three months I have learned a lot about what can happen if you are not on top of every moving part.

I love our venue, I really do, it was the only one we saw. BRIDES, buyer beware! Any and all venues, contractors, or vendors have a contingency within their contracts, they can change, update, alter or move anything without your approval, fires and other “acts of god” do not hold them liable. Over the winter we were delighted to hear about the upgraded tent that was now available at the farm. We, especially Donna, were thrilled to hear they would be providing a sailcloth tent with wood floors throughout.

Because I am a bit neurotic I needed to see the tent myself. Home for a weekend, Donna and I took a drive to the farm. Let just say that trip was not so pleasant. With these new upgrades, came new questions and concerns. We have addressed them and will be planning accordingly.(still a work in progress) The new tent is setup at a different location within the  estate grounds than originally agreed upon. We have to change ceremony location and find a way to accommodate the elderly/handicap. My aggravation with this situation is/was the lack of planning. When the team agreed to set up the tent on the larger lawn, I thought they would have arrangements for every possible sition or question we had. Well call me crazy… They didn’t. (again we have and are working this out)

If you have been following you will have read that the boys’ suits have been ordered! I took the liberty of getting them all ties. One, because I didn’t trust them, and two,  because I had a very specific color I wanted them to match with. If you want something done right, do it yourself!

I finally found ties, on sale, and almost the exact color I wanted. Only challenge was getting 11 of them. I figured there would be more in the back, or online. Nope! They were no longer available online or in a store within three states from me. I was advised to call a store in Texas. Their inventory system said they had 9 ties available. I thought perfect, they could send the remaining 8 I needed. This was again another problem. The first women told me they could not ship product (Mind you I was ordering at Macy's). I finally talked to someone who told me I needed a macy's card to ship out of state and blah blah blah. Two hours later they were ordered! While I was shopping and dealing with the crazy people on the phone Matt was enjoying himself a Friday night beverage with work friends.

We have had some success with the bridesmaids dresses. They are in and look great! My dress on the other hand, is a different story. Without giving anything away, it is about four sizes too big. We are working on that too.

Last but not least, I want to warn all Brides, Bridesmaids, Grooms, Mother of the bride etc. DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN ANY SPORT THAT COULD CAUSE SERIOUS INJURY.

A  few weeks ago we were heading out on a friends boat to to do some wakeboarding, needless to say that day turned into a mess. On one of my runs I fell which was normal, no problem. Well I had a freak accident and got the line wrapped around my upper right arm. I didnt want to be a baby so I  looked at my arm and the massive rope burn and kept going. About an hour after and a drink or two in, I asked Matt to take a look at my arm. His face was not comforting. The bruising looked like something from a horror movie(as shown). I had a work trip to LA two days later. TSA stopped me at security check in. “Miss are you traveling alone?” I was like this is weird… why would they ask that? Then I realized that my arm looks like someone beat it with a bat. I am so lucky my arm didn't get ripped off and this didn't happen in late August.

I’m sure to have more stories, problems and breakdowns before the Wedding.

-Ash

Suits on Suits.....

It has been an interesting couple of weeks for us here at the Lambert/Stambler wedding headquarters. But, we have gotten a lot done.

One of the biggest challenges thus far was the suits for the boys. I had three simple qualifications; the right color grey, a good price, and of course, it had to fit Matt. Simple right? NOPE ! Finding a suit I liked, decently priced was challenging within itself. Never mind finding a suit that fit Matt, and 10 other guys. Three of which are behemoths, and the rest, well, they would all fit perfectly into a slim fit suit.

I shopped for months, purchased multiple suits for Matt to try on, ultimately returning every single one.  I thought Macy’s would be a perfect place to buy them. The boys would be able to order them online, their sales and discounts are always great, plus they have a large selection of styles.

NOTE: to any bride looking for groomsmens suits, it is much harder than you’d think. Once I would find a color I liked that was on sale and Matt found time to try it on, the sale was over and we were back to square one!

I finally decided on one suit and waited for it to go on sale.  Unfortunately, the sale happened just days before the boys went on their “man-cation” ie. Bachelor party.  

I have to say, I was impressed. Matt sent out an email with the link and information. Within two days almost all the boys had ordered their suits! That’s 11 boys in total, from Texas, MA , Miami, and NY.

With that aspect taken care of we have moved on to the “little things” Like rings, programs, hotel bags, favors, sending out invitations, menu for the boat Sunday, hair, makeup, and oh yeah my dress….  We have quite the month ahead of us!

 

-Ash

Third Times a Charm...

So it has been quite a while since we had any bridezilla, drama, or breakdowns. 100 days to go (as of 5/28)!

 
Have any of you ordered wedding invitations through a website? Did it take you three weeks of sifting through the hundreds of sites to then go and stare at the computer screen for another 3 or so hours?  This was all so that I could sort through thousands of options, styles, paper, colors, textures.  We(well I) did… I was ahead of schedule and was excited to be ordering them weeks before the due date. That excitement was short lived. The very next day I changed my mind. I put the order on hold, ordered two different samples, waited 10 business days for the choices and made a decision. Still ahead of schedule, we reordered our invitations. The site was fantastic, timely and reasonably priced. They came in about a week and a half later. I brought them home to show my Wedding team AKA my family.

 

Proud of how organized I was and excited  to cross something else off the “To Do” list, Donna read the invitation.  Again, that excitement came to a screaming halt. THEY WERE WRONG. Matt and I both overlooked the major grammar mistake. UGH, I should have sent the proof to my trusty wedding bitch, blog editor, and of course friend Justine. For those who don't know, I can not spell to save my life, nor am I ever grammatically correct.

Now, I had to take care of these invitations. I called the customer service number, tried to use my selling skills to convince them it was their fault, and reorder the invitations for a THIRD time. Unfortunately, this company crossed their T’s and dotted their I’s. They had proof that Matt and I agreed that everything was correct and they could send the invites to the printer.
Although they gave us a discount, we did need to pay to re-print our invitations. I guess third time's a charm.



-Ash

   

The Count Down Blues....

With just less than 4 months left to go until the big day, team Lambert/Stambler are chugging away at the tedious little details.

Invitations, Ordered! Let me tell ya, paper is not cheap. Honeymoon, booked! Hair, Make-up, done. Table numbers, seating chart, decor, florist, and shoes… Check! This circus is really starting to come around. Most people call this “crunch time” I am referring to it as diet and gym time! The details (dresses, invites, custom napkins, flowers etc.) will all be taken care of.

I can honestly say I am not stressed out, just sad.  It hit me, in just a few short months, our wedding will be here and over before I know it. The big day, tying the knot, sealing the deal, ball and chain. The one day you look forward to all of your life is actually happening…and  SOON! I am so excited to celebrate with our friends and family but sad that as soon as the weekend is over I have nothing to look forward to except,  getting fat, having a baby…. and oh yeah, my husband! Kidding, I have a lot to look forward to, just not a day where the world revolves me (joking again).

I’m going to be that crazy person who will try and wear her wedding dress again, or at least keep it in my closet to look at/ try on once in a while. Its not even in and I already dread only being able to wear it once.  All of my moms hard work, hand sewing, sentimental touches will all be a memory. Its crazy to realize that a year and a half worth of planning will be over in four months.

- Ash

The Things That Will Last A Life Time...

Marriage customs have undergone many profound changes in the past few centuries. Contemporary American brides and grooms don’t meet for the first time at the ceremony and the bride doesn’t come attached to livestock from her father.

The average age of couples to be married right now is 28, in comparison to the early 60’s when it was just 22.

As a society we spend more time focusing on ourselves, our careers and dreams well before we “settle down”. We are not 16 year old children being married off, forced to run a household, care for your new husband, cook, clean,  and work on the farm alone (all for the first time).  Many of my friends have, or are living with,  their significant other. They have the basic necessities; vacuum, pots, pans, utensils, serving ware etc. Bridal showers and Wedding registries began in late 1800’s as a way to give the bride-to-be gifts she will need in her new life. Today, a new life is not necessarily what happens after your wedding. Most have the same job, live in the same place, and take care of the chores as they did before they were a Mrs.

 

When you get engaged you're expected to create a gift registry. Which consists of spending hours in different department stores scanning any and all of the items you like. Ultimately creating a list of “needs” for your new life. A few weeks ago Matt and I did a small part of the registry at two smaller stores. Matt, who is more realististic than I am, put me in my place. Just because I like something it doesn't mean I need it. Utensils that cost $250 a set for $35?  Donna and I made the big trip to Macy’s over the weekend. Thank god I went with her, not Matt. Partly because she didn't make me feel bad for putting pricy items on the list, and because she has great suggestions. Three and a half hours later we were done. It’s overwhelming to look at all of the options, brands, and styles. Luckily Donna is an enthusiastic housewife, mom and cook. She was able to recommend knives, bakeware, blenders, vacuums etc.  Although I have many of these things, I have the excuse to upgrade… right?

 

Its nice to be able to make a list of everything you could ever want, right ladies? About 70% of this list consists of items that are necessary for cooking, entertaining and decorating… you know wifely duties. The rest, you may never use. I was skeptical about registering for elaborate things, or items I may use once a year. I do not want ANYONE thinking they need to get us a gift or put them in an uncomfortable situation. My mom and mother-in-law have ensured me that people WANT to get us a gift, we are not a burden.

I love myself some material things, and have a bit of an obsession with designer brands. But after thinking about the symbolic message behind these items I found my whole hearted connection.

Our ‘new beginning’ will be full of gifts from loved ones. These items may not be our first’s but I hope for them to be our last’s. Trust me I enjoy and appreciate all of the attention, time and money put into getting us something. But what I love more than the physical gift is the story, memory or logic behind it. I may not be that 16 year old girl looking for help as I begin my new life. But I am looking forward to the items that will be a forever place in our ‘new beginning’.

 

 

-Ash

Finally...

Big week here for the Lambler wedding planners!

Let me give you a breakdown of the weekend.  We started off on Saturday, where Donna Sarah and I trekked into Boston (which at this point has about 8 feet of snow). Donna thought it would be easier to take the train, well it wasn't. We were about 40 minutes late for our appointment, and this was one appointment we should NOT have been late to.

Luckily, they were still able to take us. I'll spare y’all the story and drama to share that I FINALLY FOUND A DRESS!  

Now imagine a full marching band-- lights, sparklers,fireworks, the whole deal. Something Just shy of Katy Perry's half time performance. That image was happening in Donna's head! She was relieved that we finally made a decision. Her tears lasted no longer than 3 seconds before she went right back to calibration mode. Sarah said “Ugh finally we don't have to shop any more.”.  This sigh of relief will be short lived, I'm changing a few (60%) of the dress once is comes in. Yeah I know, I’m crazy.

It took 7 different bridal salons, close to 70 different dresses to finally find the one (after the changes).  We had made a tradition of getting drinks after each shopping trip. This was probably because they were so annoyed, aggravated and exhausted. This time, when we should actually be celebrating, we couldn't. We had another meeting back at home. A 1/2 hour late for meeting number two, Matt and I finally met Maura, our wedding coordinator. No, she's not a wedding planner we hired, she's the event manager for the venue. She's taking care of all the details from arrival time to set up, cocktail hour and break down. Without her I would be lost.

Because we were running late, Tiger and Matt were there waiting for us. Maura wanted to start the meeting, so she asked the boys a question, they didn't know. Another… they had no idea. So when she asked a third question and they both looked at her blank faced she changed the subject to the weather. We got a little reality slap. She asked questions I hadn't even begun to think about! After the meeting Donna, Tiger, Matt and I went to dinner. I ordered a much needed bourbon neat.

The next day, hungover and unshowered, Sarah Jean dragged me to another bridesmaids boutique. She wanted to make sure she loved the one she picked out a month ago. So there I was, confusing myself with color swatches and brands yet again. The idea behind the bridesmaids dresses should have stayed and idea. I have made it more complicated than ever. I sprawled out on the boutique floor mixing and matching color cards, prices, fabric and brands. My "fashion forward" vision is nothing but crazy. Sarah and I spent an hour and a half looking over colors that I had seen for months. We finally came to a conclusion and now, it's done!

I found a dress, realized I am not ready for this wedding, had a breakdown, finalized the bridesmaids colors, went to our friends 30th birthday party, saw another best friends new baby girl, had a belated birthday dinner for my grandfather, Matt and Donna, all in time to make it back to NY for work monday.

-Ash

Cracking down on the 'TO DO' list???

I know it has been a while since I have written a blog so let me refresh your minds (for those out there who care).

We are T-8 months away. According to ‘The Knot’ I should have: Save the Dates, Check. Hired a photographer/videographer, check. Booked my band, old news. Reserve a block of rooms, Check. Talk to travel agent, Check. Choose invitations, nope. Meet with Caterers, nope. Finish registry, haven’t started.  And lastly, order my dress and yeah that hasn’t happened.

My bridesmaids are awesome, organized, and cooperative! Over Christmas break they came shopping, saw a mini meltdown, and oh yeah got their shit together. They are all on track and almost ready to order their dresses. I on the other hand, have tried on what feels like 700+ dresses.

 
 
I’m going to let all of you in on a wonderful little secret! My cousin’s wife Danielle told me about a friend of hers who started a staging rental company geared towards weddings. When she sent the link I was floored by her creativity and designs. What an amazing idea! Aneta Amoroso is an outdoor wedding god!
When I say she is saving my family and friends a Summer full of arts and crafts, wood building and painting, I mean it! She has absolutely everything I want. No thrift shops, no Marshalls runs, and no AC Moore crafts.  We rent her pieces, set them up and that’s it! For any of you vintage, rustic, DIY brides, book her now!

Yes it is a little trendy but so were puffy sleeves and wedding hats in the 80’s. I really hate giving out “my” little secrets, but she is too good not to share.  

-Ash

The KNOT…. on my do NOT list!

This is real!

The knot, a popular online wedding planner designed to create stress, loves to send weekly updates. Whenever I see “The Knot” in my email I immediately cringe. Its a reminder of how many days until the wedding and what I have yet to do.  

Anyway, recently we have decided on the rest of the BIG things. We only have to give them our first born. We have ordered the save-the dates and got the hotels together well, kinda.  Anyone who has a large percentage of guests traveling for a wedding be sure to reserve your hotels early. Salem is no vacation hot spot, so we figured there would be no problem getting room blocks, well we were wrong!

Looking back and reading the first few blogs, I had a different idea of how wedding planning would be. I thought it would be this fun exciting time because  I am easy going, try not to stress, and can be creative. NOW, when any newly engaged couple ask about wedding planning I point blank tell them to elope. I know weddings are expensive and stressful but not like this! Honestly by the end of it I will owe vendors my life, kids, and limbs.  

Any couple who tries to recreate a pinterest idea make sure you have a back up! We were recently taking pictures for our Save-the Date. We think our dog is the best thing in the world, and that spoiled brat is much better to look at than Matt and I. So we decided to get creative. We originally wanted Lincoln to sit in front of us, with a bowtie and a save the date sign. That didn't exactly happen. This wack job dog is more excited about being outside playing with his ball and chasing anything that flies, than he is to sit, even for a second. Sarah, my sister was helping us recreate this Pinterest image. Holding the ball over her head trying to get him to sit for more than three seconds was quite the challenge. Sarah had helped us train him, and because we trained him in sign language (yeah, he’s kinda smart) she had no hands to tell him to wait. With his ball in one hand and the camera in the other, Lincoln did not understand why he had to sit and stay.

Donna standing there laughing/ yelling at him to sit, was minimal help. She claims Lincoln doesn't care about her. This is not true, like I said the dog is smart. He doesn’t have to give her a kiss, snuggle or pay attention to her to get food. She pretends to drop things on the floor, gives him scraps, leftovers you name it. Why would he show any affection or discipline if she doesn't ask for it. He gets what he wants without any effort.

As this 15 minute photoshoot was going on, Lincoln had taken Sarah out a good handfull of times, and lost his bow tie. Long story short we got A image for the cards and plenty of images ruined by my crazy lab.

As we keep checking things off the wedding list it is apparent wedding planning may not be as easy and stress free as I expected it to be, but we have to laugh our way through it. The good, the bad, and the ugly!

- Ash